10 Reasons why I'm obviously single


This post is a little different to my usual type of thing, but I like writing whatever I feel so lets give this a go! Let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more posts similar to this!

So, as someone who has been single for around 7 months now, and the first time being single in a lot of years, the opposite sex is a total mystery. Here are some reasons why I'm still single. Obviously...

1. I don't jump into bed with the first guy that says 'Hello'. I guess my whole getting to know someone first is a bit lost in this day and age. Now if you were Heath Ledger as the Joker than maybe that would be true.

2. I don't explode with excitement at a guy sending me a dick pic. It was a cool conversation until you decided to go and send me a picture of your privates. I thought we could have been friends, but sadly there isn't any going back after that one. And if I carry on talking to you after you send me that? No, I'm not impressed, I'm finding this stuff funny.

3. Wanting to make friends with guys. Apparently even being nice to a guy (or getting drunk and talking to a guy - see next point) must mean I want something more. Alas, I really enjoy having male friends, but what if maybe all the guys I want to be my friend are the only ones that want to date me or jump into bed with me? Making friends is hard, super hard. 

4. Alcohol. Yes I do like alcohol and I also enjoy getting drunk, it makes me want to talk to everyone about any old nonsense. This doesn't mean I'm going to jump into bed with you (see point 1.) And more importantly, this doesn't mean I'll remember all the nonsense I talked about with you so I suggest just starting afresh.

5. I dislike most people. I feel like needing to 'like' people is quite important in the whole 'not being single' thing, who knows maybe one day I'll dislike people less.

6. A refusal to join Tinder. Apparently it's the only way people meet anyone these days, and I refuse to accept that so maybe I'll just never meet anyone. But as you can see from point 5. maybe that isn't a bad thing.

7. Have I mentioned dick pics? Because seriously, I really don't need you to send me them, maybe this is why I'm single? Are we supposed to fall at guys feet at the very sight of one? This must be where I'm going wrong.

8. Wanting to have an actual conversation. Now this may seem simple, but you'd be surprised, apparently answering even basic questions is difficult these days. Maybe I'm old fashioned but to have a decent conversation requires asking and also answering questions, this seems to be lost on many people.

9. Guys get weird about stuff. They say us girls are confusing, but seriously guys are confusing too. One minute they are cool with you, the next they are acting all weird. Funnily enough it's usually the ones I want to be my friends rather than anything more, try not to be scared by a girl talking to you about random stuff. Stop being weird, I'm not the type of person to just fall in love with you, chances are I will either see you as a friend or a douchebag, don't feel too special.

and finally 10. I don't know and I don't care. I'm just going to go with the flow have fun in the here and now. 

Note: none of these images are mine - just taken off random google image searches :)

Let me know what you think of this post, I never said you would find it funny but I had fun writing it which is the main thing! See you in the next post!

- Bambi -

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